


Into the Abyss

by toosmallcage



Series: Breathe [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Character Study, Felix introspection, Gen, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:33:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23653153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toosmallcage/pseuds/toosmallcage
Summary: Recently after entering the academy, the pond is glowing and Felix wanted to share the moment with Sylvain.But Sylvain wasn't available.____(Part 2 of Breathe. But can be read independently)
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Series: Breathe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1702987
Kudos: 24





	Into the Abyss

The pond was glowing. Felix had no idea how it happened, or why, but it seemed no one really knew and they just took it for what it was. Whenever the pond glowed people would try their luck at fishing more than usual, they would be drawn to it from the first hours to the very last of the daylight.

Felix didn't particularly care for fishing, but he liked the glow. After nightfall, and after everyone had given up and left the pond, he'd stealth out of his quarters and come to watch. By that time the glow would be disappearing, but still barely there, making the pond shine in golden sparkles under a moonless sky.

He removed his boots and socks, and rolled up the sleeves of his academy uniform's pants. Felix sat by the edge of the pier and hung his feet, grazing the wanted with his fingertips. It was cold but it felt nice, and he liked the way the glow lingered on his wet skin before slowly fading away.

Felix has wanted to share this little bit of peace and happiness with Sylvain, but when he went to look for him to his bedroom the noises that came out of it made him stop and turn around, deciding on the spot that he actually wanted to be alone. He might have stomped harder than intended because before he could get out of there, Dimitri's ugly face peeked through the door of his dormitory.

"Oh, it's you, Felix. I thought it was the professor or someone else…" he said with a defeated sigh. No wonder he had been praying someone came to put an end to the depravity happening next door.

Felix just glared at him and kept walking down the hall, quietly this time, without looking back.

"Felix…? Where are you going?"

"Go to sleep, boar."

Before Dimitri could say anything else, Felix was gone. He simply couldn't stand being there a moment longer. Suddenly he felt irritated and sick, but he went down to the pond anyway out of mere stubbornness even though he had lost his original drive. And, here he was, grazing the water with his feet, watching the golden glow slowly disappear, alone under an empty sky.

Alone.

Maybe it was at this moment, here, sitting before a mysteriously glowing pond, when Felix realized he was truly alone. He had felt it since Glenn's death, there were hints here and there that his brother had taken with him everything Felix had loved about life. It had been five years since then but only now that he was finally at the academy, alongside those who were once his closest and dearest friends, that Felix truly felt the whole weight of the things that weren't there anymore.

Everyone had changed (or maybe they didn't. Maybe there were always like that but it had been hidden under the sweet naivety of childhood). Dimitri scared him, Ingrid was annoying, and Sylvain was not Sylvain.

Sylvain, at least had not been a victim of the tragedy of Duscur. His change had started long before that and while Felix had done his best to keep up, to understand, at some point, the next time he saw Sylvain the redhead was talking of things that Felix couldn't understand anymore.

In that moment Glenn had said it was normal, Sylvain was two years older than the rest of them, he was growing up, his interests were changing, and it was only natural that every time they saw each other after weeks of not doing it Felix would find him a little more different every time.

Felix hated it. He had hated it then as much as he still hated it now. He had been afraid that Sylvain would stop being his friend, that he'd left him behind, and so he forced him into that stupid childhood promise that the redhead very likely didn't even remember anymore.

Back then, at least he still had Dimitri, he still had Glenn and Ingrid, and his father; but then Duscur happened and suddenly he didn't have anyone anymore. His father wouldn't look at him, Dimitri had transformed in some sort of wild animal, Ingrid locked herself away, and Sylvain, after patting his back, left to flirt with some grieving girls at the funeral.

From then on, things only got worse and worse. The distance between the four of them grew and grew until they barely knew each other anymore, if at all.

Felix missed them. He missed sitting together in the gardens of the castle while Sylvain read to them. He missed their games and their simple conversations. He missed happy, carefree Ingrid, kind and innocent Dimitri, and brave and reliable Sylvain.

A small part of him thought maybe during their time in the academy they'd reconnect. Maybe there was still hope for their dying friendship, but it only took a month and a little more for Felix to realize their friendship wasn't dying. It was already dead, buried and rotted.

They still could talk, sit together in class and during lunch and be around each other, but that bond that had been there once was gone. Felix didn't feel connected to any of them, they were just people he used to know. From the lot of them Sylvain at least continued being a bit familiar, maybe because he had changed before the rest of them. 

And it wasn't like Felix hadn't changed, they told him about it often, but people couldn't really expect him to remain the same when everything else around him had shifted into chimeras of what they once were. At least, Felix told to himself,, he had changed because of his own determination to change, but in nights like this, he wondered his much of that was actually true.

Maybe he was just as wounded and twisted, and broken as the others were, but he wouldn't admit it because he couldn't allow himself a weakness like that. He wouldn't be dragged back, he wouldn't be chained by the past. He'd continue forward, continue growing, continue getting stronger, even if he had to do it alone.

As the glow in the pond faded into darkness, Felix pulled up his feet and slowly fixed his uniform again. He wiped his face and took a deep breath stood up, taking a last glance at the now black water and black sky. Then looked in the direction of the dormitories and wondered if Sylvain would be done, if Dimitri would still be awake…

He didn't want to be anywhere near them, so he turned around and opted to go to the training grounds. At least there he could find the only one thing that was truly his, that would never abandon him.

His sword.

+++


End file.
